of a shyness that is criminally vulgar (potatomistress) wrote in green_room,
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

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If anyone else could feel the way I do, it'd be you guys...

I hope it's not just me. 'La Bohéme' was one of those shows that really spoke to me. Yeah, it sounds clichéd and petty, but there was something about it that lit a spark in me I hadn't felt in a long time, if ever. I saw it four times and truly revelled in its world. For some reason I was drawn to it and really loved it. Then I moved back to California. Then it closed early. Then I never saw it again. To everyone around me it was something silly, why be sad over some show closing? No one really could understand how I felt. Again, as stupid as it might sound, after I found out it was closing and then finally did close, something seemed to die in me. I had been listening to the recording almost non-stop since I had seen it for the first time, but after that I couldn't listen to it without crying. It really did feel like someone I had loved had died. After a while I started to get used to it, was able to listen to it without tearing up, and eventually even could look at the pictures of me with some cast members without feeling terrible. Now, months after it ended, I thought I would be fine. This morning, though, I was browsing around other LJ communities and I found a link to the La Bohéme bulletin board, with links, pictures, happy stories, everything I had loved and everything I had missed so completely. Of course I read every post on it, replies, links, and all. Now the feelings are back. Now I feel sad again. And I don't know what to do.

I figured if anyone knew how to deal with this, it'd be you guys. I know I sound stupid, but is there ever a way to move on and remember a show for the good, not the bad? I'm kind of stuck right now.
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I've been in your place multiple times, and believe me when I say that it's hard. However, there are things you can do to make it easier. Apologies in advance if this comes across as overly self-helpish or whatever. Support groups for show withdrawal don't exactly exist, so, hey. Anything helps. :-)

Here's what worked for me:

-- Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. The great thing about theatre is that if you like one thing, chances are you can find something else that is similar and (usually) equally exciting. Channel your love for Boheme into other shows, other operas. You've got the right idea in keeping your eye on the Met, NYCO, the Amato next door...there's all kinds of great stuff out there just waiting for you to discover it.

-- Don't think of it as final. In this particular case, it's coming back! Your L.A. and London plans are great. (Especially the London one. If that goes through, I will be mondo jealous.) Forgive the cliche, but the show lives on in you. It made a huge impact on you, and you'll always carry that with you. That's an awesome thing.

-- Think about what it was about Boheme that spoke to you. Okay, this is admittedly a hard thing to translate exactly for another person, but what from the whole thing can you use to create something cool for somebody else? I think of everything I see, read, and hear as research. Even if it doesn't relate to the specific things I write about, each experience I have shapes my perception of people, and makes me a better writer and a better audience member. It's definitely something to think about.

Anyway, hang in there. It's tough, but you'll get through it. You're tough. :-D And if you ever need the proverbial ear/shoulder, you know how to find me.
Dude, thanks so much. Thinking about it in those perspectives does kind of minimalize the effect. Maybe it's just that I was mopey that day, but it really just kind of hit me. You are very true about the LA and London aspects. I *will* be at LA at least. London might be a little too far off dreamwise, but you never know. And until then, the Amato next door has it on in September!