of a shyness that is criminally vulgar (potatomistress) wrote in green_room,
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

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If anyone else could feel the way I do, it'd be you guys...

I hope it's not just me. 'La Bohéme' was one of those shows that really spoke to me. Yeah, it sounds clichéd and petty, but there was something about it that lit a spark in me I hadn't felt in a long time, if ever. I saw it four times and truly revelled in its world. For some reason I was drawn to it and really loved it. Then I moved back to California. Then it closed early. Then I never saw it again. To everyone around me it was something silly, why be sad over some show closing? No one really could understand how I felt. Again, as stupid as it might sound, after I found out it was closing and then finally did close, something seemed to die in me. I had been listening to the recording almost non-stop since I had seen it for the first time, but after that I couldn't listen to it without crying. It really did feel like someone I had loved had died. After a while I started to get used to it, was able to listen to it without tearing up, and eventually even could look at the pictures of me with some cast members without feeling terrible. Now, months after it ended, I thought I would be fine. This morning, though, I was browsing around other LJ communities and I found a link to the La Bohéme bulletin board, with links, pictures, happy stories, everything I had loved and everything I had missed so completely. Of course I read every post on it, replies, links, and all. Now the feelings are back. Now I feel sad again. And I don't know what to do.

I figured if anyone knew how to deal with this, it'd be you guys. I know I sound stupid, but is there ever a way to move on and remember a show for the good, not the bad? I'm kind of stuck right now.
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